The Bodice Ripper by Taylah Morgan

Author:Taylah Morgan [Morgan, Taylah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-10-05T22:00:00+00:00

THE END.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Taylah Morgan spent most her twenty-five years of life reading the adventures of Captain Underpants and Diary of a Wimpy Kid. She dreamed that when she grew up she would have a bacon-bringing husband and cuddly children to read her childhood stories to. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.

www.taylahmorgan.com

ALSO BY TAYLAH MORGAN

Birthday Sex: Gas Station Edition

In a way, it’s my best friend’s fault for forgetting my birthday that I’m giving head to a stranger behind the counter of a gas station right now.

My day was going great. The coworkers surprised me with my favorite butter rum pound cake and a forty-dollar Visa gift card and I had a plan to work for a few hours, get ready, then go out clubbing with my best friend.

After work finished, I spent the gift card on a Brazilian wax because the jungle of pubic weeds spreading and sprawling down my legs needed to be manicured. I wanted to show miles of leg at the club and more to whoever took me home. I wanted to be silky smooth to anyone (and everyone) who touched me. And somebody better touch me – I didn’t go through the pain of having Helga rip out my pubic hairs to have my vagina remain untouched.

Unfortunately, plans changed after checking Snapchat and viewing videos of my best friend out on a date. The bitch forgot about me again while she was chasing after another boy.

My best friend is like a gas guzzling SUV. She meets a man and for a while their relationship is wonderful. They have a fabulous and indecent adventure together, full of cocktails and lots of cock. But like gas, her passion burns out quickly and soon she’s ready to be refilled again with a different boy. She loves me, I know she does, but she loves her boy toys more. We’re only friends because, if the position were reversed, I’d do the same thing.

So seeing the posts of my bestie in a low-cut dress with the hash tags: #datenight #bae #relationshipgoals let me know that she'd be occupied for the next few days and I would be spending the start of my twenty-fifth year of life alone.

After realizing my birthday shenanigans weren’t going to happen I decided to watch Dexter. Dexter is a television show about a sociopathic serial killer that murders bad people who were missed by law enforcement. The main character, Dexter, is my spirit animal. In order to cover up his vigilante ways, he has to keep up appearances at work and in his personal life. The people around him think of him as kind, charming, and considerate. They don't know that he just washed the blood off his hands before handing them donuts.

I don’t kill people, and I’m not a sociopath (in my opinion), but I am good at keeping up appearances. At work, I’m always smiling and appear very modest – sometimes blushing when somebody says a cuss word and refraining from speaking discourteously of anyone. I shy away from dirty jokes and never ask anything too personal.

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